


Fully Operational

by Lunavere



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Robots & Androids, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Androids, Angst, Bottom Jim, Fluff, M/M, POV John Watson, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-07
Updated: 2014-04-07
Packaged: 2018-01-18 11:34:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1426975
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lunavere/pseuds/Lunavere
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Customizable androids usually take twelve months to create.  Jim Moriarty was willing to pay for his customized android to be fast tracked to merely eight months.  Upon awakening, John Watson can tell something's not quite right with his owner, but he doesn't know exactly what or how to find out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fully Operational

Blinking his eyes open, he slowly sat up.  A stranger stood before him.

_Processes coming online._

_Starting up facial recognition software._

His eyes flickered for a moment before realigning back into focus.  The being standing in front of him was Homo sapiens. Male.  Dark features.  Slight stubble on face that would imply that he had not shaved since 8:26 – no, 8:27 – this morning.  Dark brown eyes. Cut jawline.  Strong eyebrows, but they are pinched together. Full, red lips but pursed.   Exhibiting signs of distress. Dark hair.  Probably hadn’t showered since yesterday morning.

“State your name.”

“Jim Moriarty,” the stranger responded.

_Name identified.  Owner._

“Tell me my name.”

Jim hesitated for a moment, his breath catching.  “John Watson.”

He blinked again. “Spell that, please.”

“J-O-H-N. W-A-T-S-O-N.”

_John Watson.  Saved._

“When is your birthday?” John inquired.

Jim made a funny face. “What does that matter?”

“Security. When is your birthday?” John reiterated.

Sighing, Jim mumbled it out.

_Saved. Today’s date is his 35 th birthday._

“Happy Birthday, Jim,” John said automatically.  “What is my password?”

“Your password?” Jim echoed.

“Correct.”

“Why would you need a password?” Jim asked.

“A password is required for protection should you desire to change or obtain sensitive information.”

Jim stared at him, obviously baffled. “You can see me, though, can’t you? Why would you need a password if you could just look and know it’s me?”

“My visual disc might become corrupted or hacked,” John explained.  “Password please.”

Jim paused a moment. “Er… JM-”

“I’m sorry, but your initials are not allowed to be used as part of the password,” John explained. “However, I will not require for you to use special characters or numbers if you do not wish to do so. Some of the easiest passwords to remember yet hard to guess are simple words.”

Groaning, Jim responded, “Fine. Spider.”

“Spider?” John echoed, wanting to make sure he heard that correctly.

“Spider. Capitalise the ‘s’ at the beginning.”

_Spider. Saved._

“Thank you,” John stated. “Your physical customization was completed back in the factory, but my personality customization has yet to be completed.  Would you like to complete it now or later?”

“Later!” Jim exclaimed, waving his hand.  “God, please, later!”

_Remind tomorrow._

John tested out his movements, wanting to make sure they all worked.  He started off with his fingers, wriggling them about, moved up to his elbows and let his forearm swing about, and then rolled his shoulders. After that, he stretched his neck around, making sure nothing caught in the process.  Twisting his back, he bent forward and wiggled his toes. His ankles made small circles just fine, and his knees were functional.  After that, he tried facial expressions, wagging his eyebrows, blinking his eyes, flaring his nostrils, widening his eyes, and ensuring his lips could form both smiles and frowns.

_Physical controls fully operational._

For the first time, John smiled at Jim.  Jim paused for a moment before grinning back at him.  Reaching forward, he ran a hand through John’s hair.  Immediately, his sensory systems activated from their dormant state, allowing John to feel the gentle touch of fingers. His hand was warm and soft but a bit dry.  Some lotion would clear that up immediately, and John opened his mouth to suggest it.

“Shush,” Jim chided. “Let me have one minute without you saying something.”

_Countdown set for: 60 seconds.  59… 58… 57… 56… 55…_

If Jim knew about his countdown, he never said anything about it.  Instead, he just examined John carefully.  His caresses were soft but exact, as if he was taking mental calculations of John’s proportions.

“You look exactly like him,” he whispered.

_… 8… 7… 6… 5… 4… 3… 2… 1… 0._

“Who?” John inquired.

Jim shook his head. “No one.  Forget I said anything.”

_Open recorded memory._

_Rewind ten second._

The last thought that John had reoccurred to him.

_Accessing medical database._

_Keyword search: dry skin._

_696 results._

“You should get moisturizer for your hands,” he stated.  “Your xerosis is being caused by the natural lipids being stripped from your skin, which leaves it unprotected.  The best time to moisturize is when your skin is damp.  That way, it will trap the moisture still on your skin-”

“Thank you, John,” Jim cut in. “I appreciate your concern. I’ll look into buying some lotion.”

Satisfied, John smiled at him again.  The silence between them began to stretch from moments to minutes.  Carefully, he examined Jim.  Tightness of smile.  Shifting of weight.  He was still uncomfortable. They needed a topic.

“It’s your birthday today. Shall I bake you a cake?”

Jim shifted slightly again. Still uncomfortable. “I don’t have any cake mix.”

“That’s fine. I can make it from scratch as long as you have the ingredients,” John replied.  “Are we expecting company later?”

“No.”

_Voice analysis: quarter of an octave higher, high tension, response in less than half a second.  Do not pursue topic._

John smiled again. “All the more cake for you then!”

_Accessing flat blueprints.  Kitchen located._

Rising to his feet, John headed out of the door of the bedroom.  He walked straight down a small hall and entered the living room. There was an open-floor plan for the flat, meaning the living room bled into the dining room, which melded into the kitchen.  The only noticeable segregator was the kitchen counter that formed a bar on one side. Heading over into the pantry, John paused.

_Accessing recipe database._

_Keyword search: cake._

_103,285 results._

Far too many cakes to make in a year, nonetheless a day.  “What’s your favourite type of cake?” John called out.  He turned to find that Jim had followed him in.

Jim thought about it for a moment, his eyes flicking up to the right.  Ten second passed before he had his answer.  “German marble cake.”

_Keyword search: German marble cake._

_1 result._

John accessed the recipe, pulling it up in his mind’s eye.  Heading into the pantry, John began to search for the first thing. White sugar – a sweet-tasting ingredient usually used in food, composed of carbon, hydrogen, and oxygen. He discovered two white powdery-substances in the pantry.  He touched one to find that it was hard and easily fell from his fingers.  The other one was softer and left a white residue. Quickly, John pulled up an image of white sugar.

Jim suddenly chuckled. “You should have told me that you needed help.”

“I don’t!” John objected. With that, he lifted up the container of the hard, white substance.  “This one is white sugar.”

Smiling, Jim pressed, “And the other one is?”

John frowned as he realised that he had no answer for that.  Quickly, he began to pull up information on the other ingredients. Definitely not butter. Not unsweetened cocoa powder. Could be baking powder! “Baking… powder?” he suggested.

Jim burst out laughing. Shuffling uncomfortably, John felt his programmed sympathetic nervous system come out of hibernation. Moments later, a rush of adrenaline was released into his system, and his face became warmer.  Blushing.  He was blushing, which meant he was…

_Searching…_

_Embarrassment. Noun.  A feeling of self-consciousness, shame, or awkwardness._

He was experiencing embarrassment for the first time.  Swallowing hard, he averted his eyes and wished for the blushing to stop. It was bad enough experiencing the emotion, but the fact that he emoted it made it that much worse. After all, he couldn’t deny it when his face looked like a cherry.

“O-oh, I’m sorry,” Jim suddenly said, seeing how bashful John had become.  “I didn’t mean to tease you.  I just thought it was cute.  That’s all.”

_Cute. Adjective.  Attractive in a pretty or endearing way._

John supposed he didn’t mind that so much.  “Do humans usually laugh when they find something ‘cute’?” he inquired, curious.

“I suppose so,” Jim responded. “But back to the task at hand. What you’re holding there is white sugar and flour.”

“All-purpose flour?”

“Is there any other kind?” Jim teased.

_Searching…_

“I wasn’t being serious.” With that, Jim took the flour and sugar. “Yes, this is all-purpose flour.”

_Search cancelled._

John began to shuffle through the items some more.  Baking soda was marked on the box as well the unsweetened cocoa powder. As he continued to search, he found it difficult to examine the contents on some of the shelves nonetheless locate them.  “I can’t find the salt!”

“That’s because it’s on the table,” Jim replied with another chuckle.  He walked in and took the other two ingredients John found. “What else do you need?”

“Butter, eggs, milk, almond extract, salt, and dark rum,” John listed off rapid-fire.

Jim hummed before setting the ingredients on the counter.  “Eggs, milk, and butter are all in the fridge.”  He grabbed the salt from the table and set it on the counter. “Your salt’s right here.”

John exited the pantry in favour of locating the ingredients in the fridge.  Carefully, he shifted through and compared photos of eggs, milk, and butter to the items inside.  After managing to find them all, he set them on the counter. Jim brought in a bottle of dark rum from somewhere else.

_Accessing blueprints._

_Searching…_

_Location: office._

“Thank you,” John said before taking the bottle.

“Did you find the almond extract?”

John shook his head. “I got distracted with the eggs, milk, and butter.”

Jim headed back into the pantry.  His extra inch allowed him to retrieve what John didn’t even know was there.  “Here we are.”  Placing it on the counter, he smiled at John.  “Everything we need.  Now, what’s the first step?”

John flipped forward to the directions, his eyes flickering a moment.  “Preheat oven to 175 degrees.  Grease and flour one 10 inch tube pan.”

“How about I do that, and you move on to step two?” Jim stated, heading over to the over.

Nodding, John looked around for a large bowl.  When one wasn’t in sight, he opened up the first cabinet he could reach.  Within it were mugs and glasses for drinking.

_New information saved._

The next cabinet he opened had plates and small bowls.

_New information saved._

“What’re you looking for?” Jim inquired gently.  He hesitantly set a hand on John’s arm, as if he wasn’t sure if he should touch him or not.

John looked up. “A large bowl.”

“It’s in the large drawer over there,” Jim stated, pointing at the drawer in question.

_New information saved._

Pulling out a large, glass bowl, John set it on the counter next to the ingredients. The next step was to cream the butter with the sugar.  John stopped and pulled up an instructional video on how to cream.  He needed a whisk.  “Jim? Where is the whisk?”

“Here you are,” Jim replied before pulling it out of a small drawer near the oven.

_New information saved._

John smiled before taking it and dropping the butter into the bowl.  Reaching for the sugar, he was surprised when a hand stopped him. “Jim?”

“You have to remove the wrapping from the butter first,” Jim explained, reaching in and removing it himself. “How much sugar do you need?”

“Don’t worry. I’ve got this,” John told him.

“Let me get you something to measure with first,” Jim responded.

John flailed for a moment, his brain processing information far faster than he could spew out. How could he possibly begin to explain that his visual disc had a measurement programme that coupled with the weighing system in his hands?  That he would never require a measuring instrument because his body was one? Instead of explaining all that in detail, his brain only managed to get him to sputter out, “You don’t have to. I can eyeball it.”

“You’re not going to eyeball anything, Johnny,” Jim replied before getting out the measuring cup. “You’re terrible at estimating.”

Tilting his head, John inquired, “Am I?”

Jim froze for a moment, and something flashed in his eyes.  It was too quick for John to do a proper analysis, but he knew that it was bad. “Yes, you are,” he whispered.

_New personality trait identified._

“Password?”

Startled, Jim stared at him. “What?”

“In order to make the proper personality changes, I require confirmation of password.”

“Why are you changing your personality?” Jim asked.  A second later, he realised what John meant.  “Oh… You can do that then?”

John smiled at him. “Yes.  In order to become poor at guessing, I will merely skew that area of my programming.”

“Th-that won’t hurt you, will it?” Jim pressed.

“Oh, no!” John exclaimed, wanting to reassure him.  “No. Not in the least! But it will make it harder for me to approximate amounts, weights, and distances.”

Hesitating a moment, Jim pressed, “Could you undo it later?”

“Naturally.”

“And… and could you make it so that you were just bad at guessing amounts?  Just so you have to use measuring tools for cooking,” Jim inquired.

John smiled. “I could do that if that’s what you want.”

“Yes, please.”

“Password?”

“Spider. Capital S, lowercase P, I, D, E, R.”

_Password accepted._

_Personality trait saved._

_Measurement programme skewed._

John felt his eyes slide out of focus and then back in.  Blinking several times, he looked over at Jim.  “All done!”

Jim smiled back at him, but John saw that look again.  That flash of something bad.  He needed to find out what it was so he didn’t make it happen again, but he couldn’t bring himself to ask. Instead, he carefully measured out and poured in the white sugar before starting to whisk the butter. Within seconds, butter flew off the whisk and hit Jim in the face.  John looked over in shock, not having expected that to happen.  Reaching up, Jim wiped off the butter before chuckling. John grinned before feeling a release of endorphins, and he began to giggle as well.

“S-sorry!” he managed to say.

Jim shook his head before rolling back his sleeves.  “Give it here. You’re too strong for your own good.”

Handing it over, John retrieved the eggs.  As Jim whisked, he slowly cracked four of them into the batter.  Then he carefully measured out the milk and almond extract, adding them in as well.  Jim’s arm was starting to get tired – made obvious by the fact that his movements were slowing with every passing minute – and John took over again.

“I need another bowl,” he stated.  “For the flour, baking powder and salt.”

Jim scoffed. “No, you don’t. We’ll mix it all in one bowl.”

“But the recipe says-” John objected.

“The recipe is wrong!” Jim cut in.

Looking up at Jim with sad eyes, John pressed, “Please?”

Jim sighed before retrieving another bowl.  “That look’s going to get me into so much trouble,” he muttered.

“No, it’s not,” John retorted, sticking out his tongue.  “I won’t abuse such a power.”

Grinning, Jim mixed in the proper amounts of the flour, baking powder and salt.  “We should do this often,” he noted.

“Bake?” John clarified before combining Jim’s mixture with his.

Jim made a face. “I told you we didn’t need two bowls.”

“We will in a minute!” John explained defensively.  “And you have yet to answer my question!”

“I meant cook in general, not just baking.  You know – make meals together,” Jim replied.

John stirred the ingredients together, the dough thickening and requiring more force. “I would like that… I think,” he replied.

“I know I would,” Jim remarked.

Splitting the dough, John shifted half of it back into Jim’s bowl.  “Would you like me to like it as well?”

“Yes. Spider.”

_New personality trait identified._

_Password accepted._

_New personality trait saved._

Smiling, John answered confidently, “I would love to cook more often with you.”  He started working in the cocoa and rum into his half of the batter.  “Why is German marble cake your favourite?”

Jim shrugged. “When I was little, I had a nanny. She was native from Germany. Sweet, little old lady. Whenever I would come home from school crying, she would always sit me down and cut me a slice of her marble cake.  It became a comfort to me. A reminder that someone in the world cared about me.”

“What happened to her?” John inquired, knowing what probably happened.

“One day, I came home, and she wasn’t there.  Collapsed while baking her marble cake.  My mother found her and called for an ambulance, but they couldn’t save her in time. She passed away.” That flash reappeared, this time lasting long enough for John to snap a mental photo of it.

_Analysis starting…_

John took his bowl over to the tube pan.  “We need two large spoons.”

_Analysis complete._

_Subject is exhibiting signs of grief._

_Grief. Noun.  Intense sorrow, especially caused by someone’s death._

“Here,” Jim stated, handing John a spoon.

John took it. “I’m sorry for your loss.”

“Thank you, but it was a long time ago.  I don’t get quite so upset about it anymore,” Jim explained.

“But still. That was probably the first major loss of your life, am I correct?”

“You are,” Jim answered. “And honestly, I wish it had been the last.”

“What do you mean by that?” John pressed.

Jim shook his head and waved off his comment.  “Never mind.”

Silence fell between them as they layered the batters, each of them using a large spoon to plop their half of the dough onto the pan.  Once the pan was covered, John carefully used the handle of his spoon in order to swirl it in order to avoid dirtying a knife.  Jim opened up the oven, and John slid the pan in.

“Now we wait for 70 minutes,” John stated before looking around the flat.  “What should we do in the meantime?”

Jim looked at the living room. “We could watch a movie,” he suggested.

“What movie do you want to watch?”

Heading over, Jim began to look at the different movies.  “Oh, I have all sorts.  We could watch action or adventure or comedy or romance or sci-fi…”

“Which one is your favourite?” John inquired.

Jim hesitated. “You’ll laugh.”  
“I won’t,” John objected, heading into the living room as well. “Tell me.”

With that, Jim pulled out a movie and showed it to John.  _The Princess Bride._ “Go ahead.  Laugh.”

“What for? Preferences are entirely individualistic, based on personality and metaphorical taste.  You enjoy this movie, so why would I laugh at you for it? Let’s watch it.” With that, John nudged Jim. “Besides, it’s your birthday.”

Eagerly, Jim slid the DVD into the player before heading over to the sofa.  “Lay down, John!  Lay down!” he ordered.

John obeyed, resting on his back and spreading across the sofa.  He was unsure how they were supposed to watch it together until Jim settled down on top of him.  As the movie started up, Jim rested his head against John’s chest.  He made a face a moment later.

“Something wrong?” John inquired.

“You have no heartbeat,” Jim remarked.  “I-I mean, of course you don’t.  Why would you? But it’s just… not what I was expecting. But you feel so real.”

“I am real, Jim,” John replied before starting up his heartbeat generator.

Jim’s eyes brightened, the liquid pooling at the bottom rim causing for his eyes to reflect more light. “That’s right, Johnny. You’re right…”

*     *     *

“Jim?”

Jim hummed in response.

“It… it’s been a week. Are you ever going to complete my setup?” John pressed cautiously.  Every time he brought it up, Jim would brush it off.  However, his systems were struggling due to the fact that he didn’t know how he should act or react.  With so many possibilities, the programmes were running nonstop to try to generate a proper response.  “Right now, I have two saved personality traits.”

Opening one eye, Jim looked down at John, who was busy massaging Jim’s feet.  “This is the eighteenth time you’ve asked me.”

“Because it’s important!” John insisted.  Without a personality programmed, he would continue doing things Jim didn’t like. At worst, it might lead him to be sent back to the factory, where he would be destroyed.  “I feel incomplete without the final stage set up.”

Jim sighed. “Fine.  Let’s do this.  Spider.”

_Personality setup started._

“There are 104 categories to be completed.”

Jim balked. “Bloody Hell, John!”

“You will also be able to turn on Adaptation and Absorption Mode,” John responded.

“What is that?” Jim pressed.

“Once we have my initial personality set up, this mode will allow minor changes to be made without having the need for any password.  For instance, say you get me something that is blue, and you state that you got something in my favourite colour.  I will automatically recognise the new information and reprogram my preferences so that it’s my favourite colour,” John explained carefully.  “For larger changes, though, I will still require verification.”

Jim made a face. “But we can only activate that once we set up a baseline personality?”

“Correct. Think of it as an incentive,” John responded, grinning.  “Shall we begin?”

Groaning, Jim nodded. “Fine.”

“Would you like to go alphabetically or randomly or by importance?” John asked.

“Fucking Hell, I have to decide?  Um… randomly then,” Jim responded.  “Surprise me.”

John hummed as he flipped through the different categories.  “On a scale from one to ten with one being the lowest and ten the highest, how loyal am I?”

“Ten,” Jim stated without hesitation.  “You would never betray me.  You would die before you would betray me.”

John didn’t point out that he couldn’t die.  Jim knew he couldn’t. After all, he bought him. However, he understood that Jim was probably just speaking metaphorically.

_10\. Saved._

Flipping through the categories again, he landed on another one.  “How cruel am I?”

“One. You would never hurt someone without having proper reasons,” Jim replied.  “But you are slightly vengeful.”

“How vengeful?”

Jim hummed thoughtfully. “Probably a five.”

“Probably?” John clarified.

Tilting his head back and forth, Jim answered, “4.5.”

_4.5._

He shifted back through. “How independent am I?”

“Seven.”

“Am I more optimistic or pessimistic?”

Jim replied, “Optimistic to be sure.  Let’s say a six. But you’re also realistic. That would be an eight.”

“Am I introverted?” John asked.

Making a face, Jim answered, “No.  You’re extroverted. However, that doesn’t mean you don’t enjoy your alone time.  Usually, you spend it reading or writing up that blog of yours.”

“Blog?” John inquired.

“Never mind…”

_Voice stress analysis reveals high tension.  Change conversation._

“Altruistic?” he queried.

“In regards to me, a ten. In regards to anyone else, you’re a… 7.5. And that’s only because you studied to be a doctor.”

_Downloading medical knowledge database._

“I am assuming then that I am intelligent.”

Chuckling, Jim replied, “That’s one way to put it.”  He looked down at John.  “You understand social culture better than I do.  You have proper manners and comprehend social cues, unlike me.  In regards to academic knowledge, you rate around an eight. You can’t do large mathematical calculations in your head, but you’re skilled in first aid and emergency medical procedures.”

John paused. “And am I romantic?”

“Very,” Jim breathed out, sitting up in interest.  “At least an eight if not a nine.  And you only love me.” With that, he slid forward before plopping into John’s lap.  “You rank as a seven for kinkiness and sexual drive.  There was this one time when we celebrated our first year anniversary together, and you wanted to make it special.  I had always wanted to try a sex swing, so you got one, but you couldn’t figure out how to put it together.  When I got home, I heard you yelling and struggling, and I thought something absolutely terrible had happened.  I sprinted into our bedroom to find you trapped in it.  Once I got you free, we laughed for hours about it and had the sweetest sex…” Jim’s voice trailed, and he stared down at the ground.

_Scanning. Grief._

John saved the information immediately before leaning forward and tentatively kissing up Jim’s neck. “Shall we change your security features then?”

“Hmm?” Jim inquired, baring his neck.

John replied, “I have sensors in my lips.  If we kissed, I could take a scan of your lips and identify you that way instead of via a password. Then I would just use the password if there was ever concern about the integrity of my programming.”

“I would like that a lot,” Jim whispered before pressing their foreheads together. Taking in a deep breath, he closed his eyes and pressed his lips to John’s.

_Identification systems online._

_Lip print scanned._

_Saved under ‘Jim Moriarty.’_

Carefully, John kissed Jim back.  His mind began to pull up files on kissing.  Oxytocin was released, and he moaned against Jim’s lips.  Pressing back, he shifted slightly and felt their lips lock together perfectly. He sucked on Jim’s lower lip before opening his mouth.  Jim, however, didn’t explore as John offered.  Instead, he slowly pulled back and panted.

“Did I do something wrong?” John asked.

Shaking his head, Jim answered, “N-no.  But… you don’t have anything in your mouth that I should be – you know – cautious of?”

John laughed. “No, no.  There’s nothing that might electrocute you. You bought the sexual body, so you’re able to kiss and have sexual intercourse with me.  I can also provide you with blowjobs if you desire.” He paused a moment, realising they hadn’t filled in that data yet.  “Unless I don’t like that?”

Jim smiled. “You’re a switch, John. Whatever I want to do, you’re more than happy to do the opposite.  You’ve always hated the taste of cum, but you didn’t mind blowjobs as long as you didn’t have to swallow,” he explained.

John kissed Jim again. “Tell me more,” he whispered.

*     *     *

“You’ve stopped lagging,” Jim noted as he cut the scallions.

A bit baffled, John looked over.  “Pardon?”

“When I first got you, you lagged in between answers.  Lately, though, you haven’t been lagging at all.”

“Oh!  It’s because I don’t have to look up anything,” John explained. “They should have warned you in the manual that I would be slow at first.  I had to research a lot of information at the beginning in order to learn and perform daily tasks.”

Jim scoffed. “If they actually expected me to read that manual, they shouldn’t have made it over 900 pages long.”

Eyes widening, John looked over at him.  “A-am I not worth the time?”

“Christ, Johnny, don’t give me that look!”  Staring at John, Jim began to soften.  “I’ll read it tonight.”

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” John mumbled before cutting the ends off his scallions.

“I want to.”

Chopping up the length of the scallion, John shifted.  “It bothers you that I don’t eat,” he stated.  “We make food for two, but you always just bin my portion. You never eat it. It makes me feel… wasteful.”

“I should have given you a four for environmentally conscious,” Jim jested.

John stared at him. “You’re avoiding the conversation.”

“I am,” Jim conceded, staring right back at him.

Unsure what to say, John paused a moment.  “Then… don’t?”

Jim burst into laughter. “You’re something else, Johnny.” Slowly, he calmed down. He then looked over at the pot. “It does bother me slightly, yes.”

“I could get an upgrade,” John informed him.  “They’re coming out with new technology every day.  I could get upgraded to extract my charge from food, much like you do. I would then be able to eat and drink. Would you prefer that?”

Hesitating, Jim pressed, “Would it hurt?”

John shook his head. “They would put me to sleep beforehand and turn me back on once it was all over.  No pain whatsoever.”

“I will… think about it,” Jim whispered before leaning over.  That was his tell that he wanted a kiss, so John leaned back and pecked him on the lips.  “Johnny, I-” he started to say before shaking his head.  “Forget it.  I’ll get your appointment set up.”

John shifted his weight from one foot to another.  “W-will you stay with me while they do it?” he whispered.  “I… I would just feel better if you were there.”

“Of course, John. I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

*     *     *

There were so many rules that John had saved and stored away.  Being John Watson was unlike anything he ever thought it would be. Usually, humans designed their androids so they would be pretty straightforward.  They would be loyal, loving, kind, considerate, forgiving, and whatever else the human decided, usually positive elements. However, Jim had designed John to be as human-like as possible.  John’s personality was full of contradictions – forgiving yet vengeful, moral yet possibly murderous, understanding yet stubborn – and he was having a hard time keeping up.

He could tell when he did something incorrectly because Jim’s brow would pull together and his lips would purse.  Three seconds later, he would avert his eyes and stare in the opposite direction. After that, his eyes would slide out of focus.  Sometimes, this would last for five seconds and other times it lasted for five minutes or longer.

Although John couldn’t say anything, it tore him up inside that he still messed up.  He couldn’t keep disappointing Jim in such away, so he started searching his personality thoroughly before responding to anything.

“You’re lagging again,” Jim stated with a frown.  “Is everything alright?”

John quickly nodded. “Of course it is,” he stated.

_Favourites database._

_Searching keywords: ‘colour combination.’_

_Nude and blue._

_Blue, red, and white._

_Army green, nude, hunter green, and brown._

“I like this one,” he answered before pointing at a white and blue striped jumper.

Jim placed it in their basket. “What about this one?” he inquired, holding up a yellow and orange one.

_Searching…_

Making a disgusted face, John scoffed.  “No.”

Jim put it back down. “You lagged again before answering.”

“I don’t mean to. Sometimes, I-”

“You’re looking the information up,” Jim noted.  “There’s no need to try to hide it from me.  I’m not stupid. You’re searching through your data to figure out how you should respond.”

John floundered a moment, embarrassment overwhelming him almost instantly. His cheeks began to burn, and he felt his eyes grow hot as well.  “I-I just…” he tried to explain before his vocal box cracked.  Embarrassment was, by far, the worse emotional reaction one could experience.

“O-oh, Johnny,” Jim called out, shocked to see such an emotional reaction.  “Johnny, don’t… I’m sorry.  I’m sorry.  I shouldn’t have pressed.” With that, he pulled John into a tight hug.

_Rewind ten seconds._

_Save in special access file?_

John tentatively wrapped his arms around Jim as well.  “I just want to make you happy,” he whispered softly.  “You always look so sad when I get it wrong, and I hate it.”

“I’m sorry, Johnny. It was never my intention-”

“I don’t know how to be better, Jim.  Please, tell me, how can I be better?” John begged, starting to tremble slightly.

Jim kissed John’s temple. “Just be you, Johnny. I’ll adapt accordingly, but you just need to be you.”

_Searching for keyword: me._

_Error: no files found._

*     *     *

“I am bored!” Jim whined, thrashing about on the sofa.  “There’s nothing good on the telly.”

John hummed. “We could always go outside,” he murmured

Making a face, Jim responded, “And ruin my fair complexion?  I think not.”

“I could find something fun for us to do,” John replied.

_Internet search activated._

_Search keywords: London, pastime, parks, markets, shows_

_Searching…_

Jim pouted. “There’s nothing fun to do out there.”

“There’s nothing fun to do in here,” John noted.

_Results found: 192,235,291._

_Would you like to narrow your search?_

John walked over to Jim before sitting down on his back.  Jim _oomph_ ed underneath his weight. “Get off!  You weigh a ton and a half.”

“I weigh 95 kilos, which is what you paid for, I believe.”

“An error on my part to be sure,” Jim commented with a grin.  “Get off me, you lump.”

John chuckled. “Not until you tell me what you want to do.”

Groaning, Jim buried his face into his hands.  “Fine. Let’s – um – let’s… go to the park and have a bit of a walk.  Not too far away, though.  I want to be able to flee the moment I decide enough is enough.”

“You’ll get bored in a minute,” John stated before mussing with Jim’s hair.

_Refine search.  Keywords: London, theatre, shows, tonight._

_Searching…_

“How about we go see a performance?” John suggested, trying to act nonchalant.

_Results: 111._

Jim shook his head. “They’re all boring!”

Chewing on his lower lip, John mumbled, “I would like to see a show.”

“Do you really want to?” Jim pressed, straining to look back at him.

“Yeah. I really do,” John whispered.

Jim sighed. “Alright then. What do you want to see?” he inquired.

“The Phantom of the Opera,” John stated since it was his first result.

“Oh, God…”

Protruding his lower lip, John pleaded, “Please?”

“Fine,” Jim stated. “Get off me.”

John hopped up and beamed at Jim as he rose.  Somehow, he had a feeling that Jim wouldn’t ever be able to deny him.  He already knew that sort of power would be intoxicating, but he also knew that he would never abuse it.  Having Jim was a gift, and he would rather be shut down than lose him.

*     *     *

John didn’t usually sleep at night.  For one, Jim’s sleeping schedule was erratic.  But the other fact was that he didn’t necessarily need it.  Every now and again, he would put himself into hibernation mode for maybe an hour here or there, but no more than two.  With his spare time, he would sometimes just curl up with Jim and listen to him sleeping.  It was always fascinating to hear the difference.

Other times, though, John would lie there and ponder.  He researched all sorts of databases, wanting to get more information. Jim had said that John was Christian, and John was still trying to figure out what that meant. After all, the Bible itself was filled with contradictions – one after another – but he did like the thought of a Heaven.  Even so, without a soul, he sincerely doubted he would ever be bestowed upon such a grand place. Perhaps God would take pity on him and grant him entrance.  He surely would enjoy spending eternity with Jim.

Luckily, though, Jim was up tonight, and his mind began to wander to other aspects.  Some things still bothered him, but he wasn’t sure how to approach the subjects.  After all, he didn’t want to come off as ungrateful.  But – despite the nature that Jim gave him – John did worry at times that perhaps he wasn’t everything Jim expected him to be.  Sucking in a deep breath, he blurted out, “Is there something wrong with me that makes you not want me?”

“What?” Jim choked out, obviously taken by surprise.

John averted his eyes, staring at his toes and wiggling them.  “It’s just… you designed me to have a body that could perform intercourse, but you’ve only ever kissed me.  I… I was just wondering if there was something about me that… you know…” He pressed his lips together firmly.

“Oh, Johnny, no. No, no, no,” Jim murmured. He kissed John softly before pressing their foreheads together, forcing John to look him in the eyes. “That’s not it at all. Do you understand? You are perfect.”

“Then why don’t you want me?”

Jim kissed him again. “I do want you, John. I do.  But I don’t think I’m ready yet for our relationship to take that step, okay?  Someday, we will, though. And until that day comes, I’m going to make sure to shower you in kisses.”

With that, Jim began to kiss John all across his face, neck, and chest, causing John to start giggling.

_Searching…_

_Sensation: tickling._

He had never been tickled before, but it was a strangely pleasant sensation.  He started to wriggle about, bucking and giggling. “J-J-J-Jim!” he stammered.

Jim stopped kissing him all over.  “What?” he inquired teasingly before kissing John on the lips.  “Do you not like my kisses?”

“Th-they tickle!” John giggled.

Jim chuckled before burying his face into John’s neck.  “I wasn’t expecting for you to be so ticklish.”

“Should I change my settings?” John asked.

Hesitating, Jim shook his head. “No… I like it. I like you just like this.”

Surprised, John couldn’t help but smile when he heard that.  Jim liked him just the way he was.

_Rewind one minute._

_Recording saved._

*     *     *

“John!” Jim screamed.

_System malfunction: damage to –_

His internal mind flickered and blacked out.  It didn’t matter. John knew where the damage was. After all, it wasn’t hard to look down and see the gaping hole in his chest.  Shot.  He and Jim had just been coming back from the grocery store when it happened. Some bloke got out of a black vehicle and tried to accost Jim.  John got in the way and –

_System malfunction.  Shutting down…_

“No,” John gasped out, knowing that Jim would panic if he shut down entirely.

_Manual override._

_Keeping necessary systems online._

“John! Johnny, talk to me!” Jim begged, cradling John’s head in one hand as his eyes flew down to his chest. The damage was extensive – John knew it from the tears that were starting to form in Jim’s eyes.

“Do not cry on me,” John ordered sharply, causing Jim to jolt in surprise.  “Right now, there is no damage that cannot be replaced. However, if you begin the cry, the liquid might take out something important.”  Jim nodded firmly, calming down.  It was unsettling just how quickly his mood had turn.  His eyes, which had just been shining brightly with tears, were now shining with something far more sinister.  “There’s an android hospital five minutes away. If we can just get there-”

“Leave it to me,” Jim stated before pulling out his mobile.  He began to type away furiously and kept his knee pressed into John’s side. “I’m going to take care of this, John. You’re going to be fine, understand? Just fine.”

John offered Jim a reassuring smile.  “I know,” he whispered before feeling his voice box glitch.

_System malfunction.  Shutting down…_

_Manual override._

_Keeping necessary systems online._

John heard his heartbeat begin to slow down, and he knew the system would shut off soon. He had managed to keep it online because he knew how much it meant to Jim.  Suddenly, a black car came to a screech next to him.

“Boss!” a stranger called out as he got out.  He looked down at John and balked for a moment.  “My God.”

“Stop staring and get him into the car.  And be careful,” Jim snarled in a tone that John had never heard before.

Sebastian carefully lifted John up, and he could feel his internal structure shift.

_System malfunction._

_Shutting down heartbeat programme._

Just as John was laid down in the back seat, he heard his heart stop.  Jim must have heard it as well, because he panicked for a moment. “Johnny, stay with me just a bit longer. Please, John, I can’t lose you, too.”

_Shutting down visual software._

John’s sight cut out, but he refused to let on something was wrong.  “I’m fine, Jim,” he stated before closing his eyes and resting against the seat.  The vehicle took off. John’s body slid slightly back into the seats, and he blindly reached out.  “Jim.”

A hand grabbed his own. “I’m right here, John.”

_System malfunction.  Shutting down…_

_Manual override._

_Keeping mainframe online._

_Shutting down heat sensors._

Jim’s warmth faded, and he could just feel the weight in his own hand.  Even so, it was still comforting.  Jim gave his hand a squeeze.  Minutes later, they stopped, and Jim’s hand pulled away. John felt himself lifted up and placed down onto a gurney.

“I need him fixed now,” Jim stated.

“Sir, we have appointments all lined up for today.  Even with an emergency, it’ll be two hours before we can-”

Jim cut in, “Let me make this very clear to you.  I am not a man to be trifled with.  If you don’t want me to ensure that your daughter doesn’t get into that jolly good public school she’s been studying so hard for, you _will_ get John fixed now.”

“H-how-?” the nurse started to ask.

“I said _now!_ ” Jim screamed, his voice causing even John to tremble with fear.

Without warning, John began to move again.  “Move, move! We have an emergency. Code 31.  We need to 726 him immediately!”

Everything went blank after that.

*     *     *

_Systems back online._

Groaning, John stirred on top of something lumpy and strange.

_Sensors re-activating._

_Checking stomach contents._

John could feel the warmth and squishiness now.  It felt nice to be there – on top of a human.  Fingers shifted through John’s hair, calmly petting him.

_Hearing programme test successful._

_Hearing re-activating._

“Johnny?” Jim called out softly.

John groaned yet again. “Jim.”

“How’re you feeling?”

John sucked in a deep breath. “Still disoriented.”

“They said you would be for a while.  They had to replace a good portion of your systems, and they erased your memory just after arriving to the hospital by accident.  In order to make up for that snafu, they upgraded you,” Jim murmured.

_Voice analysis complete.  Lie detected._

Humming, John disregarded the analysis.  His systems were still coming back online, after all.  “I noticed. I’ve apparently got a stomach now. I assume this means I will be eating dinner with you tonight.”

“That’s the plan,” Jim informed him before leaning down and kissing John softly.  “I’m so glad that you’re alright.”

John kissed him back, melting underneath the affection.

_Lip scan complete: Jim Moriarty identified._

Resisting the urge to roll his eyes, John nestled in closer.  “It’s not like I could have died, Jim.  I mean, even if my inner core was damaged, you could just get a new android. Probably a better model-”

“Don’t you ever say that again,” Jim snarled, taking John by surprise.  “You aren’t _replaceable,_ John. Trust me, I’ve tried it already, and it didn’t work.”

Baffled by that statement, John opened his eyes and felt them come into focus.  He tilted his head.  “What do you mean?” he inquired.

“Forget it,” Jim mumbled, shaking his head.  “Just – you aren’t as replaceable as you think.  If anything were to happen to you, John, I wouldn’t know how to handle it. You’re my one constant now, and a new model just wouldn’t be what I wanted or needed.”

John smiled when he heard that. It was by far the sweetest compliment he ever heard, and he was glad he had it recorded.  Curling up on Jim, he asked, “What happened? We were coming back from shopping, and that guy just suddenly attacked.”

“Don’t worry about it, Johnny. It won’t happen again.”

John frowned. “You know.  Why won’t you tell me?”

“Because you won’t approve.”

“How could you possibly know that?” he pressed.

Obviously displeased, Jim gave John a small hug.  “Because the last time I-” he started to explain before shaking his head.  “Your personality just isn’t the type.”

“Try me,” John insisted before looking up at Jim.  “I’m clearly ready to die for you.  I doubt whatever you say is going to change that.”

“John, just let me enjoy the fact that you’re alright,” Jim responded before kissing the top of his head.

Scowling, John turned away from Jim and pressed his ear against his chest.  He listened to the sound of Jim’s beating heart before resetting his heartbeat programme to beat at the same pace.  Somehow, that made him feel better.

*     *     *

John stared at the soup in front of him.  “Really? This is going to be my first meal?”

“The doctors said that we have to start you off easy.  Soup first before we get to move on to the fun stuff,” Jim answered before setting another bowl down.

“I still can’t believe you got them to give me that upgrade when they were trying to repair the damage.”

Scoffing, Jim answered, “They were happy to do it.  Trust me.”

“What kind of soup is it?” John inquired, stirring his spoon around.

“Egg drop soup. All it consists of is chicken broth, scallions, and eggs,” Jim replied.  “It’s good.  And to prove my point, I will be eating it, too.”

John smiled. “What?  So I don’t feel like I’m missing out?”

“Exactly.”

Stirring the egg around, John watched Jim carefully.  He didn’t want to mess up, after all.  Jim stirred as well before scooping up a spoonful and blowing on it. After two seconds, he tentatively dipped the spoon into his mouth and swallowed.  John looked back at his own bowl.  Carefully, he dipped his spoon in and let it fill with broth and some egg. He then brought it up and blew on it for precisely two seconds before carefully consuming it.

The flavours burst against his palate.  The chicken flavour was spiced by a fair amount of salt and just a touch of pepper. Meanwhile, the egg provided some texture, and it served as an ironic counter flavour to the chicken broth. John wondered what the scallions would do to add to the flavour, and he began to chase one around his bowl, trying to get it on his spoon.

“This is delicious,” he murmured, pinning the rogue scallion against the side of the bowl.

Jim grinned. “Yeah, I thought you would like it. Simple yet delicious.”

“Are you saying I only like simple things?” John jested.

“I’m saying that I didn’t want your first meal ever to overwhelm you.  They said your taste buds are going to start off as hypersensitive.” With that, Jim had another spoonful. “But I am glad that you like it.”

John ate a bit more in silence, just listening to the sound of their spoons clash against he bowl every now and again.  Softly, he asked, “Do you feel better now that I eat?”

Jim didn’t hesitate for a second.  “Yes.”

*     *     *

Jim skipped into the living room from his office and pulled John into a passionate kiss. Without warning, his tongue slipped into John’s mouth, and he explored thoroughly before pulling back and grinning.

“Someone’s happy,” John panted out, surprised by the sudden kiss.

Jim replied, “Let’s just say I’ve had a good day today.  My star employee succeeded doing a favour for me, and I just wanted to share the happiness.”

“I’m not complaining,” John remarked, grinning.  He leaned forward again and captured Jim’s lips, kissing him just as passionately. After all, he had plenty of data on kissing and felt that he didn’t use it often enough.  Sucking on Jim’s lower lip, John hummed happily. He then shifted up and kissed Jim affectionately, not daring to go deeper than chaste kisses. Tangling his fingers into Jim’s hair, John shifted forward and pressed flush against him.

“John,” Jim groaned out before breaking the kiss and sucking in a deep breath.  “Oh, Johnny, I… I…”  His face twisted in pain, and John knew he had done something tremendously wrong.

“Wh-what is it,” he stammered before pulling Jim into an embrace.

Jim hugged him back. “John, can you actually love me?”

“I’m capable of a full spectrum of human emotions,” John answered.  “Which definitely includes love.”

“But how do you know?” Jim pressed.

John queried, “How do you?” He tightened his grip on Jim. “It’s not something I can explain. Logic.  Research.  Statistics. I’m good with those, but emotions are something entirely different.  They’re something foreign.  Something human. But what I do know is that I never want to let you down.  I never want to make you hurt like you are right now.  I never want to leave your side.  I don’t want to be sold to a new owner.  I know I enjoy being around you all day.  I admire your dimples in all their muscular faulting glory.  I know the sound of each breath you take, and your heartbeat calms me at night when I cannot bring myself to rest.  I know that I yearn to make you smile, to hear your laugh, to be the cause of it.  And I know that I would be willing to do anything and everything for you.  If that isn’t love, it must be better than it.”

Suddenly, John heard a soft sob.  He thought he must have made it worse until he heard Jim whisper, “Don’t ever change, Johnny. Please, don’t ever change.”

*     *     *

“This was a dumb idea.”

John scoffed. “You like it, and you know it.”

Abruptly, Jim clapped his hands twice, earning him a strange look.  “Oh, c’mon, tell me you at least know the song ‘If you’re happy and you know it.’”

_Internet search activated…_

_Searching for “If you’re happy and you know it.”_

_Song found.  Play song?_

“Of course I do!” He sang, “If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands.”

“You totally just looked that up,” Jim accused, grinning.

“Did not!”

“Did, too!”

“Prove it!” John declared. He then giggled before reaching out and holding Jim’s hand in his own.  Lately, he was able to get away with more physical affection than before. Jim didn’t shy away from him so much anymore.  Squeezing it in reply, Jim acted as if nothing was out of the ordinary.  It was as if this wasn’t a momentous occasion for them: the first time that they were displaying affection in public.  John supposed that maybe it didn’t strike Jim as much. After all, they were just walking around a nearby park.  Most people were too focused on keeping an eye on their children or dogs to bother with them.

Jim inquired, “What’re you thinking about for dinner tonight?”

“Well, since I’m finally allowed to have meats, I was thinking steak and potatoes?  I’ve heard a lot about people being ‘steak and potatoes’ kind of people, and I want to know what that feels like.”

Jim burst out laughing. “You have got to stop watching crap American telly.”

“It’s not crap!” John retorted, immediately defensive.  “Well… most of it’s not crap.”

Jim chuckled. “Fine, but we’re going to have to stop at Sainsbury’s on our way back.”

Suddenly, John became uneasy. He felt adrenaline rush through his brain, and he touched his chest despite himself.  “A-actually, now that you mention that, what do we have at home? Just seems foolish to buy more produce when we have something to eat already.”

“John?”

“Yes?”

Jim forced John to stop and looked him straight on.  “You know that no one is going to shoot you, correct?”

“It’s just that the police never caught him, you know?  He could be anywhere out there, and-”

“John,” Jim called out firmly, forcing him to come back to the present.  “He’s dead.”

_Voice analysis complete: truth._

Stalling for a moment, John stared at Jim.  “How can you be certain?” he pressed guardedly, wondering if maybe his voice analysis programme still wasn’t working properly.  After all, how could Jim know a thing like that?

“I just do,” Jim stated before starting to head off.

John shook his head and yanked Jim back.  “No, you don’t get to just walk away from this one.  You were telling the truth when you said he was dead.  How did you know?”

“I ensured it,” Jim snarled in reply, taking John aback.  “No one touches what’s mine and gets away with it.”

Sucking in a deep breath, John processed all of this information slowly.  Jim hired an assassin in order to kill someone.  He stepped back and felt his entire perspective of Jim shift in the matter of seconds.  Jim the owner, Jim the cook, Jim the big baby who complained about being bored, Jim who whispered at night when they were falling asleep, Jim the sympathizer, Jim the caretaker.  How had this man become Jim the criminal?  How had John never seen it before?

“Wh-what?” he whispered.

“Don’t look at me like that, Johnny,” Jim answered before reaching forward to cup John’s cheek. John pulled away from the touch. “Johnny.  Please, understand…”

“You murdered a man!” John hissed.

“Don’t be stupid! I didn’t lay a hand on him,” Jim retorted quietly.  “I had a trusted confidante take care of it.”

John responded, “Oh, because that makes everything better?”

“Not here!” Jim finally snapped before glancing around.

John shook his head. “No.  You’re trying to get me to walk home so I can take time to process longer and alter my reaction to the information you have just given me. We talk about this here and now.”

“This isn’t the time or the place.”

“Yes, it is,” John declared, standing his ground.

Sighing, Jim shook his head. “I shouldn’t have made you so stubborn.”

“Stop stalling.”

“Don’t you ever wonder what I do, Johnny?” Jim inquired before looking at him dead in the eyes. “What job would require for me to keep random hours?  Would require for you to stay out of the office?  Would pay well enough to buy our flat?  Would allow me to stay home all day long?”  He smiled. “I know you’ve tried to figure it out before.  You’ve got that little processor inside of you whirling away, trying to figure out what it could possibly be.  But you never thought about illegal jobs, did you?”

John shook his head. “Of course not. The Jim I know-”

“-is the only Jim that matters,” Jim cut in.  “This other Jim doesn’t pertain to you at all.”

_Voice analysis complete: lie detected._

“You don’t actually believe that,” John said.

Jim swallowed. “Johnny, I told you before that you wouldn’t approve.”

_Recording activated: “Your personality just isn’t the type.”_

“Jim, please,” John whispered. “Just… tell me the straight truth.”

Scoffing, Jim looked away. “Fine.  I’m a consulting criminal.”

*     *     *

_Searching database: Moriarty._

_No results found._

John said nothing as he threw a ball up into the air and caught it again.

_Searching online: Moriarty._

_241,387 results.  Narrow your search?_

A consulting criminal.

_Accessing recording database._

_Recording activated: “I help people commit crimes for a living. Sometimes, it’s something small like forging a painting.  Other times, it’s something far grander.  I have an entire network at my fingertips, and I can pull whatever string I need to the moment I need to.  But, Johnny, this sometimes causes enemies.  Usually, I catch them before they even get close to finding me.  What you experienced shouldn’t have happened and will never happen again. I guarantee it, John.”_

John didn’t know how to handle everything.  Throwing the ball up again, he watched it fall back down into his hand.  Jim was, without a doubt, the best thing that could have ever happened to him.  However, he didn’t realise that this would come with such a heavy fine.  He chucked the ball up into the air again and frowned. Sometimes, he wanted to just reach back into his databanks and delete the memory entirely. He wouldn’t, though, if only to make a point.  He could handle this. All this time, Jim had been certain of John’s response, but John wanted to surprise him.  John wanted to have the unpredictability of a human.

Even so, he could not move on from the fact that Jim was a criminal mastermind.  He had fallen in love with a criminal!  Chucking the ball back up into the air, he kept one eye on it. Jim Moriarty was still the same man John had known this whole time, correct?  The only difference now was that John understood him better. What a curse that was. Sucking in a deep breath, John chucked the ball up again.

“You’re tormented,” Jim stated, standing in the doorway.  “You’ve been tormented all week.”

John looked over at him. “I’m still computing the information.”

“I have something for you,” Jim stated, holding up a thumb drive.

Reaching out, John inquired, “What is it?”

“All of the data you could possibly want.  Everything about my network. It’s all right here.”

John pulled up his shirt. His belly button actually hid a USB port, and he carefully slid it in.

_External device detected._

Opening up, he found files within files within files.  ‘Moriarty’ had a presence all over the world.  If there was a town in existence, Jim had a connection to it. John was quickly becoming overwhelmed by all of the data.  Maps, enemies, plans, blueprints, names, faces, families, friends, weaknesses, strengths, jobs, clients all flooded his mind.  He tried to file all of the information away only to realise he would have to have an entire database dedicated to it.

_Eject?_

John ejected it before staring up into space.  “Wh-why did you show me that?”

“So you would understand why I have to tell you to delete all information and memories about me being Moriarty,” Jim answered him.

Eyes widening, John sat up. “No.”

“John,” Jim called out soothingly before sitting down next to him.  “In the whole world, the only bright spot in my life is you. You’re the only reason I have ever felt any redemption whatsoever.  You proved to me again and again that I was capable of love.  I am capable of affection.  I can fear and worry.  I’m a human, not a monster.”  He sighed. “But I always knew that you would never be able to accept what I was.  And now, you’re guarded around me.  You look at me differently.  You see me as something less than before, and I… I can’t take it any longer. I need my old John back. The one who used to love me no matter what.”

John deflated slightly. “I do still love you,” he whispered. “It just… it bothers me.”

“I know. That’s why we should delete the data.”

“It’s why we shouldn’t,” John responded.  “If I was a human, you wouldn’t be able to do that.  We would have to work through it ourselves.”  He offered Jim a smile.  “I know that I’m not a human, but I would like to try that route. I want to be able to know all of you, and I want to still be able to proclaim that I still love you. But… it’s just… _why_?”

Sighing, Jim sat back. “I hope you’re comfortable, because this is a long story.  It goes back to when I was only eleven years old.”

_Recorder activated._

_Recording…_

*     *     *

John munched slowly on his cashew chicken, entirely engrossed in the telly.  There was a new American television show about an android much like John, only he was working with a partner to fight crime. It was the first time John ever saw an android on the television outside of reality shows. Sucking in a deep breath, he couldn’t pull his eyes away, not even when he felt Jim’s lips against the top of his head.

“I want to learn how to fire a pistol,” John whispered.

Jim froze. “Can’t you just download that information?”

“No, it’s restricted access that you can only download with a government approved code that the owner must apply for.”

Chuckling, Jim answered, “That’s when you have anyone besides me as an owner.”  With that, he flopped down next to John.  “It’s going to cost you a kiss, though.”

John raised his eyebrows in surprise before leaning forward and kissing him deeply.  Moaning against John’s lips, Jim wrapped his arms around John’s neck and pulled him firmly down.  John kissed him again and again, wanting to take full advantage of the situation. Within moments, John had pinned Jim down to the sofa as he snogged him, loving the feel of Jim’s body underneath him.

Eventually, Jim pulled back and panted for breath.  “You’ve definitely earned yourself a code.”

John nodded before settling down on top of Jim.  “What were you up to today?”

“Giving anonymous tips to oust a human trafficking ring,” Jim answered.  “Because someone decided that forgery, theft, and certain murders were acceptable, but that I should use my network for good and help those in need.”

“You should help those in need,” John mumbled.  “And only one?”

Jim hummed. “But if anyone finds out what I’m doing, it’s going to become infinitely harder for me to help anyone. So yes.  Just one today.”

John smiled up at Jim. “I’m glad we managed to get everything sorted out.”

“Me, too,” Jim murmured, grinning back at him.  “Now, access the download and tell me how long the code needs to be.”

John closed his eyes and tried to access the download once more.  “Eleven spaces.  Mixture of numbers and letters.”

Humming, Jim closed his eyes as well.  Both of them remained quiet for a long moment, each listening to the other breathe. Just as John began to slip into hibernation mode, Jim began to speak again, “I have the code you need to plug in. Just listen to me carefully. M-H-4-Y-O-9-C-L-1-R-7.”

_Code accepted._

_Download started._

“It worked!” John exclaimed happily.

Jim chuckled. “Of course it did. As if I would give you a faulty code.”

“How did you figure it out?” John inquired, opening his eyes again.

Shrugging, Jim responded, “There are so many combinations in the world of letters and numbers that it’s supposed to make it impossible to guess.  However, there are also so many that usually one could work it out. That one, though… that one is a special code.”

“How so?”

“It’s a master code of sorts. Certain government officials have codes that will access most files, even ones that are sealed to normal citizens.”

John tilted his head. “And you have a code like that?”

“No.  I stole that code from a man named Mycroft Holmes,” Jim answered.

“Of course,” John mumbled, chuckling and shaking his head.  He gazed up at Jim with eyes full of admiration.  “I love you.”

Jim relaxed underneath him. “I love you, too, John.”

*     *     *

Once again, Jim was bored, and John was on a hunt for something to do.  Jim mentioned perhaps having Cluedo somewhere in their bedroom. After having checked the armoire, John headed over to look underneath the bed.  He pulled out a box and opened the lid to find photos in there of Jim as a child.  Giggling, John began to shift through them.  There were baby pictures of Jim entirely naked.  In some pictures, Jim had a red nose from crying, which John found absolutely adorable. He sorted through and found pictures of Jim with his family.  Apparently, Jim had a brother he never once even hinted towards.  The brother looked nothing like Jim, surprisingly. Jim looked more like their mother and his brother more like their father.

John flipped through a few more and found school photos.  Jim was so small back then that John thought it was precious.  Shifting through some more, he found a picture of Jim grinning with a mouthful of watermelon.  Then there was another photo where he was about to be thrown into a pool. A third photo had Jim sitting in front of a cake with two handfuls and a covered face.

Glancing underneath the bed, he grinned wider when he noticed yet another box.  Quickly, he reached underneath and grabbed it. He pulled it out and opened it eagerly before freezing and gawking.  It was filled with pictures of _him._ Shifting through it, John found photos of him in an army uniform and in a desert.  There were photos of him working in a hospital. Several medals jangled about as John began to pull out more photos.  There he was, holding Jim up on a beach somewhere.  In another, he was chastely kissing Jim on the lips.

_Delete dates accessed._

There were only two dates on the list.  Confused, John double-checked.  His memory should have stored any and all dates when he was forced to delete data, and he couldn’t remember any of this.  He should have dates upon dates on that list, but there was only two: one from the first day and one from the hospital.

“Have you found it yet?” Jim inquired as he walked in.  Suddenly, he was upon the boxes, shoving lids back onto them and shoving them back under the bed.  He snapped, “I told you in the closet!”

“Jim,” John called out before looking up at him.  “You gave me a different surname.”

“What?”

John felt the pieces begin to click together.  “Most owners give their androids their surname.  I should have, by all accounts, been John Moriarty.  But you didn’t give me Moriarty as a last name.  You gave me Watson.  John Watson.”  He stared at Jim. “Who was he?”

“None of your business. You already know more than you should,” Jim snapped.

John pressed, “Who was he?”

“Just delete all of the information over him,” Jim ordered.

“No.”

With that, Jim’s eyes locked onto John’s in a second.  “Owner system override.”

John’s eyes widened.

_Owner system override activated._

_Security key needed._

“Don’t,” John exclaimed, rising to his feet and backing away from Jim.  “No, this is… this isn’t fair!  I deserve to know who I was named after!  I deserve to know it!”

“Delete the data, John, or I will!” Jim snarled.

John floundered for a moment. “Please, just tell me who he was!”

“John, now!”

_Owner system override cancelled._

_No security key given._

Swallowing hard, John closed his eyes.

_Memory database activated._

_Rewinding one minute._

_Lock into protective data?_

_Are you sure?_

_Memory locked into protective data._

Opening his eyes, John blinked before looking about.  “Have you found the game yet?”

Jim let out a sigh of relief. “No, but you just go make us a cuppa, and I’ll figure out where it is.”

“Okay,” John responded before heading down the stairs.

He couldn’t believe that he just lied to Jim, but what other choice did he have?  He had just found sensitive information over his origin of creation, and he wanted to know more.  After all, the more he knew, the better he would be able to figure out what Jim wanted. And he felt that he deserved to know why he looked exactly like that man.  What happened?

_Rewinding memory 90 seconds._

_Facial expression and voice analysis started._

_Grief. Pain.  Fear._

“Fear?”

_Fear. Noun.  In this case, an unpleasant emotion caused by the threat of pain, danger, or harm._

“I know what it is,” John mumbled to himself as he started up the kettle.  He glanced back towards their bedroom.  “Have you found it yet?”

“Bringing it down now!” Jim called back.

John let out a long breath and heard the kettle whistle.  Swiftly, he poured them both a cuppa before heading over to the table and setting them down. “I want to be Colonel Mustard!”

“That’s fine. I like being Professor Plum,” Jim responded before coming down the hall with it.  He held it up with a victorious grin, and John appeased him with a small applause.

“Where was it?”

Jim scoffed. “I apparently moved it to my office closet and forgot.  Sorry about sending you on a fool’s errand.”

“It’s no problem,” John answered with a smile before leaning up for a kiss.

Pecking him on the cheek, Jim placed the game down before collecting up his mug of hot water. “Someone forgot to add the tea bag again.”

“Whoops!” John exclaimed, hopping up to his feet.  “I thought it tasted a bit bland!”  With that, he grabbed two teabags and headed back over.

Jim smiled as he took one. “One of these days, you’ll get it, Johnny.”

Smiling back, John nodded before sitting down.  He could do this. He didn’t like it, but he could get away with knowing and keeping it secret.  All he had to do was wait.  Eventually, the time would come around when he could find out, whether that was on his own or with Jim’s help.  He just needed to be patient.

Opening up the game, John pulled out the board and opened it up.  “Are you going to explain to me how this works, or am I going to have to look up the instructions myself again?”

Jim chuckled and sat down across from him.  “I suppose I’ll grace you with my time and explain it.”

“How kind of you,” John teased.

Suddenly, Jim’s eyes landed on John and held him in their gaze.  “I’m kinder than you realise, Johnny.”

John suppressed a shiver.

*     *     *

“Do you ever watch porn?”

Jim sputtered and choked on his tea for a moment.  “Wh-what?”

Looking over at him, John pressed, “Do you ever watch porn?  I was doing research last night, and I came across all this factual information about sexual intercourse.  In the process, I came across pornography, its origins, and more stats. Apparently, humans have a porn preference, and each human watches or reads it on a varying basis. Just imagine, there are humans reading something _right now_ in order to get to the pornographic part of it!”

“I’m sure they’re enjoying the plot just as much as the porn,” Jim answered.  “And what’s this sudden interest in my porn preferences?”

John stared down at his hands. “Well, it’s just that we don’t ever have sex, you know?  You requested a design you could have sex with, but then we never…  Don’t get me wrong!  I love being able to kiss you and cuddle with you.  My favourite parts of the day, really.  But I thought that if I knew your pornography preference, I could research a bit more and then maybe you would, you know, actually want me.”

“Oh, John, this again?” Jim whispered before tugging John into a kiss.  “There’s nothing that you could learn from my porn preferences that I can’t just teach you.”

Staring up into Jim’s eyes, John pressed, “Then why don’t you?”

“Because I want our first time to be a bit more romantic than you goading me with porn preferences,” Jim answered teasingly before kissing John again.

John pressed into the kiss desperately, moaning against Jim’s lips.  “You gave me a high sex drive with a good variety of kinks, Jim. How much longer do you think I’m going to be able to hold out while you wait for your moment?”

“Actually, I’m surprised you held out this long.”

John rolled over onto Jim and stared up at him with wide eyes.  “You’ve been testing me this whole time?”

“No,” Jim answered before kissing him sweetly.  “No, I haven’t, Johnny.  But since you’ve been such a good boy, why don’t I give you a treat?”

_Sexual drives activated._

John could feel his cock beginning to become erect, and chemicals were released in his brain to make him desperate for more.  Rutting against Jim, he moaned softly and buried his face into Jim’s neck.  “D-Daddy, _please._ ”

“Oh, fuck,” Jim groaned out. “Remembered that kink, did you?”

“Daddy,” John whined in response.

Jim hummed. “Daddy can happen another day. Tonight, John, you’re going to be an army captain in bed.”

“A-as in roleplaying?” John inquired.

Shaking his head, Jim bared his neck.  “No. Just taking on those aspects: strong, assertive, domineering.  I want you to take control of me, John.  Just let me lose myself in you.”

John nodded before leaning down and latching onto Jim’s neck.  He sucked and bit at the skin viciously, wanting to leave a love bite behind for all to see.  Moaning, Jim melted underneath John, letting him have his way.  Once John had littered it with love bites, he yanked off Jim’s shirt before tugging down his trousers and leaving him only in his pants. Jim gasped when John mouthed at his erection through the cloth.

“O-oh, Johnny,” he moaned out, spreading his legs further apart.

John roughly flipped Jim over before pulling down his pants and pausing.  He had no idea where the lube was, and he didn’t want to break the moment. After another second, he ordered, “Lube.”

Jim groaned and scrambled for it, ripping open his nightstand drawer and shoving it back at John. Once it was in John’s hands, he went back to his former position, displaying his arse for John to enjoy. John hummed before leaning down and leaving some love bites there as well, wanting to have Jim marked all over in a way John knew he could never be.  With two fingers slicked, John carefully pressed them into Jim’s arse, feeling it stretch almost eagerly.  Jim moaned but said nothing as John slowly and teasingly fucked him. Neither of them had anywhere to be, after all, and John was enjoying feeling the heat around his fingers.

Suddenly, Jim cried out and bucked.  John paused a moment, trying to figure out if he did something wrong.  He then slowly removed his fingers before thrusting them back in at the same angle.  Jim moaned in reply. Carefully, John aimed to hit the same spot again and again, and Jim was quickly unravelling underneath him. He must have found Jim’s prostate.

Hair mussed and panting, Jim finally snapped, “Just give me your cock already!”

“B-but protocol states I should add a third-”

“Fuck protocol, John!”

John gave Jim’s arse a spank, causing him to cry out in pleasure.  “We’re doing this my way or no way at all.”

Groaning, Jim slumped back down into the mattress and wriggled his arse a bit.  “Your way then.”

Sliding in a third finger, John began to fuck Jim faster, but he purposefully missed his prostate in order to tease Jim that much more, drawing out whimpers and mewls. By now, his cock was aching. John quickly fished it out of his trousers and used the lubricant it leaked in order to slick it up. In that moment, he was grateful that scientists had the foresight to forego cum for lubricant. It made everything a lot faster.

Pressing the head to Jim’s arse, he rutted against him for a moment before sliding in. Jim moaned and clawed at the bed. Once John was in to the hilt, he grabbed Jim’s hands and placed them against the headboard. Jim looked back at him in slight confusion.

“You’re going to need it.”

Jim moaned in reply, and John gave a sharp snap of his hips.  He was rewarded with a cry of ecstasy.  Once he was sure Jim was properly braced, John took him harder and faster. The headboard slammed against the wall with each thrust while Jim’s moans and cries mixed in beautifully with the sound of flesh meeting flesh.  Bringing his hand up, he clawed down Jim’s back, causing Jim to scream out in both pain and pleasure.

“O-oh, John!” he managed to moan.

John gripped Jim’s hips and didn’t let up, slamming into Jim’s arse again and again. If there was anything Jim didn’t enjoy, he made no notion of it.  Instead, he merely encouraged John’s brutal treatment.  Upon seeing Jim’s first orgasm, John was fascinated, and he cursed himself for having Jim facing away from him.  All he could feel was Jim’s body tensing up around him. He could see Jim’s toes curling, his back arching, and his head snapping back.  And the series of disjointed cries were the most beautiful that John had ever experienced.  But he wanted to _see_ it still.

He flipped him over and continued his punishing thrusts.  Jim writhed and bucked underneath him, still sensitive from his orgasm, but he never once objected.  Over the course of the next hour, John worked Jim back up into an aroused state, with his cock red and leaking onto his stomach.  This time, John was ready.  He leaned down and kissed Jim deeply.

“Come,” he ordered against Jim’s lips.

With a cry, Jim bucked and came onto himself, his cum splattering across his chest and stomach. John moaned at the sight. Jim’s mouth dropped his shock and pleasure, his eyes rolling to the back of his head, as he arched up into John’s body. His fingers clawed at John’s back.  If he had been human, he would have been left with long scratch marks. John groaned before shuddering and feeling a release himself.  Chemicals sparked through his brain, and he cried out in shock as he experienced his first orgasm.

“Oh, my God. Jim…” he panted out, slumping down into him.  He was still overwhelmed with all of the data and chemical reactions happening in his brain. “J-Jim, I-I-”

Jim chuckled and wrapped John up in his arms.  “I know, Johnny. Trust me, I know.”

*     *     *

“I’m still waiting for you to short-circuit and electrocute us both,” Jim joked as he lay on top of John. Both of them had a glass of red Zinfandel they were sipping on during their bubble bath together.

John chuckled. “That’s not how it works, and you know it,” he responded before kissing up Jim’s neck.

Apparently, Jim had merely had first time jitters, because they were both having sex on a regular basis. Jim always kept it interesting, never doing the same thing twice, and he was more than happy to teach John everything instead of requesting John to look up the information on his own. Both of them had explored various levels of bondage as well as a variety of kinks and roleplaying. Jim’s interests varied from being called “Daddy” to being forced onto his hands and knees and fucked from behind. Already, John knew he would never be bored with Jim as his partner.

Yet he couldn’t help but wonder what life must have been like with the real John Watson. He was curious as to whether they had such exotic sex or not.  If so, what had been the limits then?  Did they have a safeword like he and Jim did now?  What was it?  John felt a little unimaginative with theirs.  “Crashing,” had been the first word that came to his mind when he was asked what word he wanted to use so they knew when to stop.

He knew that Jim was still suspicious of him as well.  Since the discovery of the real John, Jim hadn’t left John alone in the flat. It was striking, given Jim used to leave John alone twice a week.  However, John didn’t dare say anything about it, lest he alert Jim that he didn’t actually delete the information.  He would just have to wait for the right moment to try again.

“We should do this more often,” Jim giggled before taking another sip of wine.  He was already more than a bit tipsy.

John nodded. “Bubble bath next time, though,” he stated with a grin.

Jim giggled harder. “That way, we can make shapes out of it. You could have a beard and moustache, and I could have a poorly constructed hat!”

Laughing as well, John took another sip of alcohol.  His body didn’t process it the same way as a human’s did.  Technically speaking, he couldn’t become inebriated. That was fine by him, though, since watching Jim become all bubbly and giggly over a bottle of wine was more than entertaining.  He kissed Jim’s temple before carefully removing the wine glass from Jim’s hand and setting it on the floor.  Pouting, Jim crossed his arms and sulked for a bit.

“You look like a child who just had his candy taken away from him.”

“I feel like a child who just had his candy taken away from him,” Jim retorted.

John hummed before kissing Jim softly, able to taste the alcohol on his tongue. “You’ve had enough for a while,” he murmured before pressing their foreheads together.  “Or do I need to use my breathalyser on you to prove it?”

“Please tell me I have to give you a blowjob in order to use your breathalyser,” Jim said mischievously.

John kissed Jim again. “You get so horny when you’re drunk.”

“And this is… news to you?” Jim teased.  “So is it?”

“No.  It would just be a kiss,” John answered before running his fingers through Jim’s hair.

Jim brought a hand up, and they both noticed how pruned his fingers were.  “Ew!” Jim exclaimed, shaking his own hand in an attempt to dry it faster.

“I think we’ve spent more than enough time in here, eh?” John teased before kissing the top of Jim’s head.

With that, he carefully got Jim to his feet before activating the drain.  Jim swayed slightly from side to side, and John was forced to dry him off before carrying him over to bed.  Once he made sure the bin was next to Jim, John curled up behind him and pressed a kiss to the back of Jim’s neck.

“Happy one year anniversary, Johnny.”

“Happy one year anniversary, Jim. And happy birthday.”

*     *     *

“Johnny,” Jim whined from the bedroom.

He had woken up that morning with a high fever, and he had been complaining ever since. Already, he had all of the pillows underneath every inch of his body, two empty bins next to him, their two spare fans pointed at him and on full blast, and was situated underneath the duvet. John had already given him a glass of ice water.

Walking into the bedroom, John pressed his hand to Jim’s forehead.

_Heat sensors activated._

_38 degrees._

If nothing else, it was at least lower than the 38.3 degrees earlier.  John caressed Jim’s cheek.  “What do you need?”

“I want ice cream.”

“You refuse to drink your ice water because it’s ‘too cold,’” John retorted.  “And you expect me to believe that you’re actually going to eat ice cream?”

“It tastes better,” he pointed out.

John replied, “Then I’ll get you a popsicle.”

“But I want ice cream!” Jim objected.

“And our compromise is a popsicle of any flavour you choose.”

With a sigh, Jim mumbled, “I want watermelon.”

John kissed Jim’s forehead before trotting off and retrieving said popsicle.  When he returned, Jim was gingerly holding the glass of ice water and drinking from it.  John slid onto the mattress before handing him the popsicle.  Offering Jim a smile, he ran his fingers through Jim’s hair before lying down next to him.

“Tell me a story,” John requested, closing his eyes.

Jim hummed as he sucked on his popsicle.  “You’re going to make the sick one entertain?”

“The healthy one just got the sick one a popsicle.”

Giggling, Jim countered, “Apparently at a price.”

“Surely you didn’t expect for it to be free,” John teased.

Jim said nothing for a long moment, and John could sense that he was thinking of a story to tell. Finally, he began, “Once upon a time, there was a young genius who was excited to go to school. His siblings weren’t as smart as him, and he couldn’t wait to make friends.  Upon entering kindergarten, he discovered that most of the children there didn’t have the faintest clue about reading or writing. His disappointment furthered with every passing year.

“In order to get away from his reality, he would go to the library every day and read a faery tale. He was obsessed with the original stories – about the ones where feet get maimed and birds poke out people’s eyes – instead of the nicer ones that Disney had recreated in order to have a happily-ever-after.  He poured over story after story, imagining the scenes and trying to understand the necessity, the morals, and why so much had changed from then to now. Sometimes, although he would never admit it to others, he would place himself into the story and rewrite its path. He was always the hero, though.

“And then one day when he was ten, another boy at the school began to pick on him.  He would tease him and laugh at him simply because the genius didn’t understand civil pleasantries.  He didn’t comprehend the world on the level of a normal person. Thus, every time he made a mistake, he would be mocked.  Eventually, he came to loathe this boy who made fun of him, and he began to realise that he wasn’t a hero.  No, he was a villain. And that bothered him at first. After all, who doesn’t want to be the hero of a story?  But then he realised that every faery tale needs a good, old-fashioned villain as well. Someone had to pay that price, and he was willing to pay it.

“Years passed, and the genius slowly started becoming more villainous.  He cared less and less about what his actions would lead to. After all, he suffered no consequence. But then he met an Army doctor. This doctor had seen suffering beyond imagination and survived, having seen death even when trying to save a life. And this doctor looked at the villainous genius and saved him.  Day by day, this doctor worked his way into the genius’s heart until he became a permanent fixture there.  The genius began to understand that he could experience love.  Friendship didn’t require intelligence on the same scale, but merely sympathy and compassion.  Before either of them knew it, they fell in love.”  Suddenly, Jim stopped.

“And they lived happily-ever-after?” John pressed, looking up at Jim.

Jim looked down at John before carefully running his fingers through his hair.  “Don’t you know, Johnny?  The villain never gets to live happily-ever-after.”

*     *     *

Finally, the day came. Jim announced that morning that he had arrangements set up and would be gone for approximately two hours. John did his best to not seem excited about the prospect of being alone in the flat.  Just as a show started up, Jim kissed the top of John’s head before heading out the door.  John barely managed to get through most of the show, wanting to make sure Jim wasn’t coming back for anything, before leaping to his feet.  He went straight for the bedroom, looking underneath the bed. Jim’s box of childhood photos was still down there, but the other one wasn’t.  Jim must have moved it that day.  Cursing softly, John sat up and thought back, trying to figure out where he could have hidden it.

_“I apparently moved it to my office closet and forgot. Sorry about sending you on a fool’s errand.”_

His office. Scrambling to his feet, John hurried down the hall.  Jim’s office had always been off-limits to him, even after he found out what Jim did for a living. John let out a long breath and stopped at the door.  Jim probably had the place rigged somehow – maybe with cameras or perhaps a motion sensor to let him know when it’s been entered.  Was it worth the risk?

John knew the answer before the question even finished passing through his mind. Opening the door carefully, he scanned the room to find nothing in plain sight.  Jim wasn’t stupid, of course.  He crept over to the office closet and carefully opened it.  Underneath several files sat the box.  Quickly, John snatched it back up again before creeping back out of the room.

As soon as he was back in the living room, he opened the box and began to spread the contents all around. He probably had a good forty-five minutes to investigate, but he would put it all away in thirty just to be safe. Rifling through the photos again, John was surprised when he found two DVDs buried at the bottom. He picked one up and headed over to the television.  As soon as it was in the DVD Player, John sat back down to watch.

 

“What’re you doing?” John inquired, looking entirely baffled.  “Are you… are you _recording_ me?”

“You’re the one who said we don’t act like a normal couple!” Jim’s voice responded, his voice revealing that he was just behind the camera.

John began to giggle at him. “So instead of getting me flowers for Valentine’s day or making dinner on our first anniversary after I work a long day at the clinic, you think, ‘Ah, yes, normal means that we should take videos of each other.’”

“I’m going to make a DVD!” Jim objected.  “A DVD of moments for every year we’re together… obviously not for the first year, because this is a decision that I made just now, but for every year following!”

 

John felt a sense of dread as he heard that.  Two DVDs. Two years of memories.

 

Suddenly, Jim was singing “Happy Birthday.”  It appeared that a cake was floating over towards John, who was sitting at a dining room table. He set it down, and John looked down at the cake before laughing.  “You fucking git, I’m only 35, not 40!”

“Both of us know you’re an old man at heart,” Jim teased.

John blew out the candles. “I wish I was only 35 years old,” he said aloud with his eyes shut.  Opening them, he pretended to be shocked.  “Oh, wow, it worked!”

“Git.”

“Arse.”

 

The camera fumbled for a bit before steadying.  “I’ve got Jim’s phone,” John whispered.  “And I just… _this_ is what I came home to.” He emerged from the hall and fixated the camera on Jim, who was sprawled out across the sofa. His jaw was dropped open, snoring loudly. One hand was still in the popcorn bowl, his fingers obviously buttery, and he shifted slightly when John started to giggle.  “The man I fell in love with, ladies and gents.  This is totally going on Facebook.”

 

John giggled as well, never having seen Jim in that state before in his life.  Sitting back, he crossed his legs and waited for the next scene.

 

John was lying on top of Jim, their heads just off centre with some of Jim’s head cut out. John kissed Jim chastely again and again, his lips lingering longer after every kiss.  Humming happily, Jim turned his head every which way in order to meet John’s lips at a different angle and keep it interesting. After a particularly long kiss, John glanced sideways towards the camera.

“Are you… are you recording this?” John inquired.

Jim glanced over. “No?”

“You’re so recording this! No wonder I couldn’t get into snogging you!”

Scowling, Jim pulled John down for a deep kiss, and the screen went black.

 

A second later, John stood over the hob.  He was clearly concentrating on something that he was cooking.  “You know, you could learn to cook in an hour or less with your brain capacity. Then I could have a night off every now and again from cooking.  That would be nice. Just to come home and have dinner already waiting for me to eat.”

Jim jested, “I love you, too, Johnny.”

“Obviously not as much as I love you,” John teased back.

 

A white wall appeared on the screen.

“So this is my revenge for the Facebook video earlier this year.  Now, John hates to admit it, but he can’t decorate the tree entirely because it’s too tall,” Jim murmured as the camera shook slightly. “He has to get up on a chair in order to decorate the top of it.”  With that, the camera dipped around the corner of the wall to reveal John standing on his tiptoes on a chair.  “But even then, he’s not quite tall enough.  I have to put the star on the top.”  Suddenly, John teetered a bit, obviously losing equilibrium.  With a gasp, he fell off the chair and hit the ground hard. “John!” Jim exclaimed, running forward. The camera went flying before landing with a soft _thump_ and only showing the fabric of the sofa.  “John, are you alright?”

“Y-yeah. I’m fine.  Sorry,” John answered with a groan.

Jim responded, “Jesus Christ, don’t scare me like that.  I thought you hit your head.”

“Come now. You know my head’s thicker than that,” John jested.

With that, both of them laughed.

 

Tilting his head, John wondered what happened to them.  Obviously, they were very much happy and in love.  He grabbed the next DVD and switched them out, hoping that it would reveal the information that he was searching for.  Starting up the next DVD, he skipped through the first half of it, knowing he would have to find another time to watch it.

 

“But Johnny!” Jim whined, the camera shifting a bit to face a door.  “I don’t want to go to the cinema to watch some unrealistic movie about a dragon, some dwarves, and a hobbit!”

“Too bad because I do,” John answered before emerging from the bathroom with a towel around his waist. “Who’re you texting?”

Jim huffed before lying, “Sebastian, if you must know.  And can’t we just pirate it at home?  It’s far better than dealing with the queues anyway.”

“I’ve already bought the tickets,” John told him with a grin.  “Either you’re with me, or I’ll just have to ask Sebastian to join me.”

“Fine.”

 

Abruptly, they were on a beach with the waves crashing against the shore.  Jim grinned at the camera before carefully lifting it up in order to reveal that John was passed out and spooning him from behind. After a few seconds of ensuring that he got the whole thing in the shot, he brought the camera back down, gave a thumbs up, and turned it off.

 

“Happy Birthday, Jim!” John exclaimed, the camera bouncing violently.  He was bouncing on the bed in order to wake Jim up.

“Go away!”

John continued to bounce. “Not on a special day like this! No, sir!  Because today, someone was born!”

“Someone’s being born right now.  Why don’t you go jump on that bed?” Jim muttered spitefully.  “And let me sleep in for once.”

Chuckling, John stopped bouncing and angled the camera down to face Jim.  “Someone being a bit stroppy.”

“Someone shagged me so long last night that I didn’t get to sleep until four,” Jim retorted.

John flopped down onto the mattress next to him.  “Someone asked for that.”

Looking over, Jim grinned at him.  His eyes were full of admiration and love.

 

“And now, we see the wild John Watson in his natural habitat,” Jim whispered as he nudged open the door just enough to get the camera inside.  It was blurry, but John was taking a bubble bath.  “The wild John places hygiene above all else and usually requires no less than thirty minutes to bathe.  Here, we can see the symbiotic relationship he has with his rag and the parasitic relationship with the soap.  With every use, the soap gets smaller and smaller until it becomes obsolete.”

“I swear to God, Jim, if you don’t get out of here with that camera, the wild John will attack.”

With that, Jim squeaked and closed the door.

 

John giggled, wishing he had made himself a bag of popcorn.  Then again, it was probably better that he didn’t have buttery fingers. It would rouse less suspicion.

 

Suddenly, John’s face took up the full shot.  He was spinning around in circles and singing, “A whole new world!  A new, fantastic point of view!  No one to tell us ‘no’ or where to go!  Or say we’re only dreaming!”

“A whole new world!” Jim’s voice suddenly sang.  John immediately stopped spinning and turned the camera to face Jim, who was grinning childishly. “A dazzling place I never knew. But when I’m way up here, it’s crystal clear, that now I’m in a whole new world with you.”

With that, Jim carefully took the camera from John’s hands and showed the view from the top of the Shard.

 

Abruptly, the DVD ended. “Wh-what?” John inquired, shocked. That couldn’t be it! Jim and John were clearly still entirely enraptured in one another.  There hadn’t even been the slightest hint of animosity or displeasure. If anything, they were just a couple months away from tying the knot!  What could have possibly happened?

“I thought I told you to delete that data,” Jim suddenly called out.

Freezing where he was, John swallowed hard and felt a release of adrenaline through his system. He had completely forgotten to keep track of the time.  “You did,” he concurred.

“I shouldn’t have made you so curious.”

“You should have made me more loyal,” John joked, trying to lighten the mood.  He turned to face Jim only to find no amusement on his face. In fact, his facial expression was entirely neutral, making it impossible for even John’s programmes to figure out what was going on through his mind.  Quickly, he explained, “I just thought that if I knew a bit more about him, I would be able to mimic him better.  I mean, that’s what you want, isn’t it?  You want him back, so you got the next best thing – me.”

Jim’s jaw set and tightened. “And that plan failed.”

John felt a pang of pain and disappointment shoot through his electronic heart. Even though he knew he had failed miserably, it hurt so much more to hear the confirmation come from Jim’s lips. Shoulders slumping, he curled away defensively, as if trying to protect an open wound. “What happened?” he whispered. “You two were so happy together.”

“A villain never gets a happily-ever-after, John,” Jim reminded him.

Shaking his head, John pressed, “I don’t understand.”

With that, Jim let out a bitter laugh.  “You know, you’re more like him than you realise.  He used to say that a lot, too.  ‘I don’t understand, Jim.’  ‘I still don’t understand,’” Jim responded, mimicking a deeper voice as best he could. His lips suddenly curled in disgust. “But when he found out what I did for a living, he understood everything.  And his moral compass couldn’t deal with his fiancé being in league with terrorists and criminals.”  Jim paused a moment before shrugging one shoulder.  “In his defence, though, I really shouldn’t have been bartering with terrorists. I knew about his time in the army, and I knew how loyal he was to queen and country.”

John whispered, “Oh.” Everything was clicking into place now: why Jim had been so certain about his own reaction to the news – why he had been so standoffish towards affection at first – why he panicked as much as he did when John was shot.

Jim’s face contorted with pain for but a moment before he managed to make it neutral again. “He re-enlisted into the army in order to go on tour.  He was trying to reverse what I had done, despite my protests and warnings, and I helped him. How could I not? We both knew that I had done was morally wrong, and I knew that I could get him back if I redeemed myself in his eyes.”

“But?” John pressed.

“But one of my enemies found out his importance and – even more importantly – his location. Just two weeks before he was scheduled to return, he was shot on the battlefield whilst trying to save one of his comrades.”  Jim started to tremble slightly.  “H-his last words were reported to be, ‘Please, God, let me live.’”  He laughed bitterly once more.  “Obviously, God didn’t hear him.”

Rising to his feet, John was in front of Jim in seconds.  He pulled him into an embrace, knowing that he needed it.  Jim hugged him back hard and said nothing more on the matter. The two of them remained locked for a while, each desperately holding onto something invisible yet mutually felt.

Eventually, John murmured, “How long before you decided to create me?”

“The day after I got the news, I decided.  It usually takes about twelve months for a customized android to be created from first conception to first blink.  I fast tracked you to eight months so I could get you on my birthday.”  He hesitated before adding, “J-John was the only one who ever celebrated my birthday.”

John hugged Jim tighter. “I’m sorry I couldn’t come sooner. But, if you want, I could download the footage into my memory banks and analyse it.  It would make it easier for me to become him in every sense, and we would be able to share in the memories and-”

“N-no!” Jim exclaimed, catching John by surprise.  “No.”

Pulling back slightly, John tilted his head.  “I don’t understand. Isn’t that why you purchased me?”

“Originally, yes. You were to serve as a replacement for him.  But it didn’t take long before I realised that – no matter how precise you became – you simply weren’t him. You can’t be.” Jim stared deep into John’s eyes. “Those are shoes that not even a human can fill.  John was my everything, and I will never forget him as long as I live.  Nor will I ever stop loving him.”  With that, Jim placed a hand underneath John’s chin in order to force him to meet his gaze again.  “He was what I wanted, but you… you were what I _needed_.”

John trembled as he heard those words.  “J-Jim…”

“You might look just like him, but you’re your own person.  I won’t lie – it did distress me greatly at the beginning.  I had become so fixated on bringing him back that I was devastated when it failed.”

“I’m sorry,” John whispered.

Shaking his head, Jim said, “Don’t be.  I needed ticklish John who would laugh if I began to kiss him all over. I needed John who lags whenever I mention a childhood nursery rhyme because he’s trying to look it up before I notice. I needed considerate John who would deal with my whinging when I am sick and nurse me back to health. I needed curious John who would press for information that I didn’t want to provide.  I needed forgiving John who would accept me for who I was and try to make me into a better man.  And I needed healing John who would help me move on from the past so I could embrace my future.”

John giggled when he heard that.  “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Jim replied. “I thought I would never love after him. I didn’t think I could love anyone like I loved him.  But you’ve proven me wrong, just as your namesake did all of those years ago.”

John responded, “But this time, you’re going to get your happily-ever-after, Jim.  I promise.”

*     *     *

“Thank you for taking me to see it,” John stated as he set down a bouquet of flowers next to the headstone.

JOHN H. WATSON

BORN 6 JUNE

DIED 18 AUGUST

AT SEVEN AND THIRTY YEARS OF AGE

SOLDIER – DOCTOR – HERO

HIS COMPASSION SHALL NEVER BE FORGOTTEN.

“You’re welcome,” Jim answered, his voice thick with emotion.

John kept his back to him, knowing he needed a personal moment to himself.  “What does the ‘H’ stand for?”

“He never said,” Jim responded before clearing his throat.  “He hated it.”

“That’s not what I asked,” John noted with a small smirk.

“Hamish.”

Humming, John nodded. “No wonder he hated it.”

“Indeed.”

Both of them stood in front of the gravestone, neither speaking a word.  John then noticed an empty space next to it. Given how crowded the cemetery was already with graves, John found it curious that there would be an opening.

“That’s my plot,” Jim stated, obviously noting how transfixed John had become. “When I die, I will be buried next to him.”

John felt dread wash over him as he realised for the first time that Jim would die and leave him behind. “O-oh,” he whispered, suddenly beginning to breathe faster and shallower.

“John?” Jim called out, touching John’s back.

“I-I don’t know what’s happening!” John exclaimed, never having experienced this before. His heartbeat programme had sped up the rate of his heart, and he felt as though he was drowning.

Jim responded, “You’re having a panic attack.  I need you to take deep breaths for me, alright?”

Barely nodding, John tried. “I-it’s not helping!”

Jim shushed him. “Breathe in for two and out for four,” he murmured.  “And think about kittens and puppies.”

Connecting to the Internet, John pulled up as many YouTube videos of kittens and puppies as he could at one time.  He watched them whilst controlling his breathing, and he started relaxing.  Eventually, the panic subsided altogether. “Well, that was fun,” he stated sarcastically.

“Does the thought of my death scare you so much?” Jim pressed, sounding surprised.

John nodded, still focusing on a cat as it batted its paw at a printer.  “Very much so.  Because when you go, I’ll have no point in existing.”

“I very much doubt that, John,” Jim crooned, running a hand soothingly down John’s back.

Shaking his head, John responded, “Then stop.”  He looked up at Jim. “Look, there’s… there’s a programme you can put me in.  It costs a fair amount of money, but I would set up appointments and go through an aging process with you.  Every year, I would look slightly older and older instead of staying this young permanently.”

Jim stared at him in surprise. “You… you _want_ to eventually look old?”

“I want to grow old with you,” John answered earnestly.  “But that’s not all.  I want you to write in your will that when you die, they shut me down, remove my core, and bury it with you.”

“John!”

“No, Jim, listen!” John snapped. “I was created by you and for you. Without you, I have no reason to continue.  Now, you can put me in charge of your funeral arrangements if you want.  I can ensure that everything is as it should be. But I want to be buried with you, too, Jim.”

Bottom lip trembling slightly, Jim nodded.  His eyes were bright with the threat of tears, but not a single one fell.  “I promise, Johnny.  I promise.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to ChosenofAshurha for letting me complain to him about this story.
> 
> Do not copy/duplicate.


End file.
